Yeah, so obviously, i, probably not unlike you, have heard/read it gazillions of times before. But in the past, i had always read it from the perspective of the older brother, taking from it warnings of pride and judgement. And had truthfully felt a little jealousy toward the pathetic wayward little bro and the injustice of the whole situation ("I mean come on God, isn't this grace thing a little over the top?")
Today, i have experienced this ridiculous grace for the first time. I have been standing on the edge of my Father's property, waiting to be all cleaned up and
presentable, knowing that he deserves AT LEAST that. (I did go, ask for the world, ditch him and then squander all he had given me and all)
So i came to the prodigal's words in verse 17
"But when he came to himself, he said, 'How many of my father's hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer to be worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants."'Did you notice what sent him back? Hunger. That's it. He wasn't healed. Or all neat and put back together. Or ready with a really tear jerking inspirational testimony of grace and restoration. He was empty, and needy, and broken, and wanted desperately to be under the care and graces of his father again. And was more than ready to humble himself and become a servant; work off his penance, we'll say, in order to just live in his shadow.
So here comes the part i know you know, but let me ask you read it again with the fresh eyes of the starving, filthy, shamed son:
"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and RAN and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.' But the father said to his servants,'Bring quickly the best robe, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.' And they began to CELEBRATE."
Our Father is scanning the horizon, dying for us to decide to come back home, so he can sprint to us and hold us while we collapse from grief, fatigue and bitter loneliness and weep openly in his arms. And then do you see what he wants to do? Bring us into his home, clothe us with his very best, proudly mark us as his own and throw a party like these here parts have never seen (i mean seriously, they could hear the thing out in the fields for pete's sake). And all in our honor (talk about humbling).
Again, note what the son had to do: 1. Realize his stupidity 2.Confess his sin and 3. Come home. Period. And his Father's love and grace did the rest.
And oh how much that is. We (i) do not have to come work off our sin to get back into his good graces, to be worthy of living in his household. Or clean out our hearts and minds of every impurity. Or make right all of the wrongs we have done.
First of all, because we can't. And what ignorant pride to believe that we can have any part in our redemption to begin with.
God is simply waiting for us to return, and surrender ourselves to a love beyond comprehension. And i, for one, am tired of trying to convince him otherwise.
So, here's a side note to the faithful: I pray that God really writes this story on my heart. Because as overwhelmingly humbled and overtaken as i am by his undeserved love for me, there is the part of the story that threatens this joy in my homecoming.
Oh big brother, that you would plead for your father's heart on this one; and then trust his sovereign judgment. That you would accept the prodigal's return and the Father's unmerited grace towards him. Jump at the chance to fully embrace him on his homecoming, and then run to help with the party preparations.
Please don't even think of refusing the invite; to sulk and miss out on true fellowship and a beautiful display of redemption and restoration. Yes, it is undeserved mercy. Unmerited favor. Praise God that his grace covers us all(and by the way- we really REALLY want you there too).
Nonetheless, i am here. Hungry and tired, naked and beat up and poor. But home.
I have nothing to offer or contribute but that which my Father has mercifully given me. Use it or not as he may, it is his to do with what he pleases.
And for now i will be content with resting in his graces, gaining my strength by living each day in the shadow of his mercy.
"Hungry I come to you for i know you satisfy. I am empty, but i know your love does NOT run dry."
But seek FIRST the kingdom of God and his righteousnes, and ALL THESE THINGS will be added to you. Matthew 6:33
12 comments:
I just read The Shack too and loved it. You have no idea how thrilled I am to read this. This is what I have been praying for you all these months--that the realization of His Lavish grace could loose you from the enemy's condemnation (Rom. 8:1). You had to experience it to really believe it. I'm just so relieved that you are no longer the "big brother" judging yourself. Those who have truly experienced God's grace won't have a "big brother" attitude toward others--that attitude only comes from those who have never experienced ridiculous grace. They still think they can earn something or add to the finished work of the cross with their legalism. Like you said, how arrogant! Run to your Father's arms and don't look back. I love you.
Tears of joy for you, my friend.
If I say 'Preach it Sister!' Does that sound too christianese? I can't help but feel it's necessary to say that was a totally encouraging revelation there. I hope you can keep your eyes on the joy in your fathers face, even if big brother takes a while to join in the party.
Love ya lady
I was riding home on my 45 min car ride over the pass and thinking about you and whether or not you have been writing. Low and behold, your blog has BEAUTIFUL entry on it. I truly am happy for your new found freedom in this area. God is truly rejoicing!! Love you my friend Linds
Beautiful on so many levels. I'm excited for you, Love.
Thanks Rach. This is so encouraging to me. I appreciate your willingness to just share your heart and your life with us.
Again, really, thank you. This has helped my heart.
Love you! Jenn
Thanks so much for your kind words, friends.
I wanted to just mention, for fear of being misunderstood, that i have no agenda in writing this, but to allow those who love me and who have been praying for me to get a glimpse of what God is doing in my heart.
I hesitated to even add the part about the older son, fearing that it would detract from what God was doing in me, but decided it was such a huge part of the story that it should be included.
That being said, i am hoping to make it clear that it was not a judgment on any person(believe me, i am not so quick to judge these days), only that we ALL could heed the warning that Jesus lovingly gave to us. Prodigals and non-prodigals alike.
Welcome home, my friend.
I look forward to celebrating with you! Just imagine how DELIGHTED our compassionate God is to have you home!
Psalm 18:16-19
16 He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.
17 He rescued me from my powerful enemy,from my foes, who were too strong for me.
18 They confronted me in the day of my disaster,but the LORD was my support.
19 He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.
Brenda
Thanks for sharing your journey back to where we all want to be! You have my support!
After reading your post, and all these comments, I too am shedding tears of joy for you Rach. I sure do love you a lot. Thank you for sharing. I'm thrilled to be celebrating with you!
i love you, ray-ray.
(and ps i read it)
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