So FIRST of all, this is my desktop pic right now, so i think about and pray for and miss our friends an awful lot (especially for the kiddos).
Second of all, i went to a middle school open house the other night. MIDDLE SCHOOL.
ahem.
Third of all, i miss talking to Allison.
Fourth...i just wonder if this year will be different. If we will resurface from the haze we have been treading through and redefine our lives. And if we are (i am) ready for that. I mean, ready enough to really do something about it. I feel i am stuck somewhere in this dichotomy of eternal perspective, where we have all the time in the world to figure this life, love, relationship stuff out, and life slipping straight through my fingers.(My babies are growing up right before my eyes, my youth... well i am trying to accept that it has pretty much moved on, and now i am SUPPOSED to be wise-ish. And mature. And that all truly can be terrifying...)
And then there's the what next. So my kids grow up and leave and what then? And what between now and then to set me best up for then (though phew that i at least tested in the 17th grade- can i have a note linds? I'm going to site it on my resume). And why can i STILL not play guitar?(i mean worth a crap of course- so don't argue the point with me) And why haven't i written a single damn thing in an entire year?
And then there's friendships...Am i supposed to be learning to look for that in God alone? Or do i need to change myself and be a better friend and not such a piece of work? OR WHAT?!
Oh how i just really want to live INTENTIONALLY! Somehow that seems so much harder to accomplish than it seems it should. (and why am i so MELODRAMATIC?)
...speaking of.
That should probably be all for now.
6 comments:
Well... I'm glad at least that you wrote it out so candidly... it made for a bit of entertainment on my end... and well, made me feel not so crazy.
well, that's what i'm here for? (at least i'm ALWAYS glad to give others a self esteem boost...if ONLY i could be pretty for you too!)
You will be FINE Rachel. And yes, you do need to write this year. I will be asking you about it.
I actually was thinking today that I wanted to go through a book with you called the artists way.... talk to be about it...I think it could be life changing for you....
...and me...come to think about it...it would be good for emiko too....
hmm... well bring it forth my friend!
(does that sound dramatic and artisty to you?)
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