Lord i'm tired
So tired from walking
And Lord i'm so alone
I know the dark is creeping in
Is creeping up to swallow me
I think i'll stay and rest awile
This is all that i can say right now
This is all that i can give
Did you see me crying?
Did you hear me call your name?
Wasn't it you i gave my heart to?
I wish you'd remember where you set it down.
This is all that i can say right now.
This is all that i can give
Didn't notice you standing here
I didn't know that that was you holding me
I didn't notice you were crying too
I didn't know that that was you washing my feet
And this is all
This is all that i can say right now (i know it's not much)
This is all that i can give...
And that's my everything
Monday, March 24, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Thursday, March 6, 2008
now
THE DISCIPLINE OF SPIRITUAL TENACITY
"Be still. and know that I am God" (Ps. 46:10).
Tenacity is more than endurance, it is endurance combined with the absolute certainty that what we are looking for is going to transpire. Tenacity is more than hanging on, which may be but the weakness of being too afraid to fall off. Tenacity is the supreme effort of a man refusing to believe that his hero is going to be conquered. The greatest fear a man has is not that he will be damned, but that Jesus Christ will be worsted, that the things He stood for -love and justice and forgiveness and kindness among men - will not win out in the end; the things He stands for look like will-o'-the-wisps. Then comes the call to spiritual tenacity, not to hang on and do nothing, but to work deliberately on the certainty that God is not going to be worsted.
If our hopes are being disappointed just now, it means that they are being purified. There is nothing noble the human mind has ever hoped for or dreamed of that will not be fulfilled. One of the greatest strains in life is the strain of waiting for God. "Because thou has kept the word of my patience."
Remain spiritually tenacious.
-Oswald Chambers (and thanks to mark for this too)
The thing is, i have certainly failed at all this. And am so grieved at not only bringing sorrow to my God, but also for being a tool of his adversary. I have inadvertently spread unbelief with my choices and actions, have hurt his bride (which i always have truly loved) and have discredited the gospel, to which i owe my life.
Everything is still rather fuzzy, but is becoming clearer with each passing day. And you know, it is all so very REAL. And big. And pretty damn scary at times. It's so hard, you know? When you just wish everyone could see what you see. But you can't make them. But you really really want to.
So here's the thing friends. I decided to give God one last go of it this past month, and boy did he come through for me. BUT it was not until i humbled myself, and prayed, and seeked(i know, not a word) his face and turned... you know the drill. And i had such an amazing experience with fasting that it should probably be a post all its own. I cannot believe we go without doing it on a regular basis. God desires SO MUCH MORE for us than we can usually see, i believe. But our dumb stubborn wills (most likely coupled with quite an assault from our adversary) will not allow him to come. And be Lord. And save us from ourselves. (for the love)
Anyway, i am thankful. And grateful, And learning. And learning. And learning. And God IS faithful. I do know AT LEAST that. More to come...
Faith Hope and Love upon you.
"Be still. and know that I am God" (Ps. 46:10).
Tenacity is more than endurance, it is endurance combined with the absolute certainty that what we are looking for is going to transpire. Tenacity is more than hanging on, which may be but the weakness of being too afraid to fall off. Tenacity is the supreme effort of a man refusing to believe that his hero is going to be conquered. The greatest fear a man has is not that he will be damned, but that Jesus Christ will be worsted, that the things He stood for -love and justice and forgiveness and kindness among men - will not win out in the end; the things He stands for look like will-o'-the-wisps. Then comes the call to spiritual tenacity, not to hang on and do nothing, but to work deliberately on the certainty that God is not going to be worsted.
If our hopes are being disappointed just now, it means that they are being purified. There is nothing noble the human mind has ever hoped for or dreamed of that will not be fulfilled. One of the greatest strains in life is the strain of waiting for God. "Because thou has kept the word of my patience."
Remain spiritually tenacious.
-Oswald Chambers (and thanks to mark for this too)
The thing is, i have certainly failed at all this. And am so grieved at not only bringing sorrow to my God, but also for being a tool of his adversary. I have inadvertently spread unbelief with my choices and actions, have hurt his bride (which i always have truly loved) and have discredited the gospel, to which i owe my life.
Everything is still rather fuzzy, but is becoming clearer with each passing day. And you know, it is all so very REAL. And big. And pretty damn scary at times. It's so hard, you know? When you just wish everyone could see what you see. But you can't make them. But you really really want to.
So here's the thing friends. I decided to give God one last go of it this past month, and boy did he come through for me. BUT it was not until i humbled myself, and prayed, and seeked(i know, not a word) his face and turned... you know the drill. And i had such an amazing experience with fasting that it should probably be a post all its own. I cannot believe we go without doing it on a regular basis. God desires SO MUCH MORE for us than we can usually see, i believe. But our dumb stubborn wills (most likely coupled with quite an assault from our adversary) will not allow him to come. And be Lord. And save us from ourselves. (for the love)
Anyway, i am thankful. And grateful, And learning. And learning. And learning. And God IS faithful. I do know AT LEAST that. More to come...
Faith Hope and Love upon you.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Everpresent God,
We wait for you to show yourself;
To lift the cloak of sin and death that weighs heavy on our backs
And hangs a veil of pain and doubt upon our hearts.
All-knowing God,
Reach into our days and mark a clear path for our weary feet to follow.
Apply a healing salve of hope to our brokenness,
And supply us with wisdom and courage to continue on.
O Holy God,
Allow us a sheltered glimpse of your greatness and beauty,
That we may fall face down in awe and wonder;
And then to always, with reverent fear, live our lives in the shadow of the majesty of your worth.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them. -Galileo Galilei
Be not silent, O God of my praise! For wicked and deceitful mouths are opened against me, speaking against me with lying tongues. They encircle me with words of hate, and attack me without cause. In return for my love they accuse me, but i give myself to prayer. So they reward me evil for good, and hatred for my love.
But you, O God my Lord, deal on my behalf for your name's sake: because your steadfast love is good, deliver me! For i am poor and needy, and my heart is stricken within me. I am gone like a shadow at evening; i am shaken off like a locust. My knees are weak through fasting; my body has become gaunt with no fat. I am an object of scorn to my accusers: when they see me, they wag their heads.
HELP ME, O LORD MY GOD! SAVE ME ACCORDING TO YOUR STEADFAST LOVE! Let them know that this is your hand; you, O LORD, have done it! Let them curse, but you will bless! They arise and are put to shame, but your servant will be glad! May my accusers be clothed with dishonor, may they be wrapped in their own shame as in a cloak! With my mouth I will give great thanks to the LORD; I will praise him in the midst of the throng. For he stands at the right hand of the needy, to save him from those who condemn his soul to death.
Psalm 109
But you, O God my Lord, deal on my behalf for your name's sake: because your steadfast love is good, deliver me! For i am poor and needy, and my heart is stricken within me. I am gone like a shadow at evening; i am shaken off like a locust. My knees are weak through fasting; my body has become gaunt with no fat. I am an object of scorn to my accusers: when they see me, they wag their heads.
HELP ME, O LORD MY GOD! SAVE ME ACCORDING TO YOUR STEADFAST LOVE! Let them know that this is your hand; you, O LORD, have done it! Let them curse, but you will bless! They arise and are put to shame, but your servant will be glad! May my accusers be clothed with dishonor, may they be wrapped in their own shame as in a cloak! With my mouth I will give great thanks to the LORD; I will praise him in the midst of the throng. For he stands at the right hand of the needy, to save him from those who condemn his soul to death.
Psalm 109
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Psalm 103:8-12
The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
Friday, February 1, 2008
HOPEFAST 2008
a faint glimmer of hope burns brightly in my chest
despite the voices yelling profanities, insults,
willing for it to die.
but i will NOT have it.
i will tend to you my little spark,
and love you and nourish you
until the flame itself devours me
and i am made of nothing else.
despite the voices yelling profanities, insults,
willing for it to die.
but i will NOT have it.
i will tend to you my little spark,
and love you and nourish you
until the flame itself devours me
and i am made of nothing else.
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