But now I see I was not plucked for naught,
And after in life's vase
Of glass set while I might survive,
But by a kind hand brought
Alive
To a strange place

Henry David Thoreau

Feeling rather melancholy.

I remember saying years ago how very easy my life had been, marked with so little loss. Ah... blissful ignorance...

Far far, there's this little girl
she was praying for something to happen to her
everyday she writes words and more words
just to spit out the thoughts that keep floating inside
and she's strong when the dreams come cause they
take her, cover her, they are all over
the reality looks far now, but don't go

How can you stay outside?
there's a beautiful mess inside
how can you stay outside?
there's a beautiful mess inside
oh oh oh oh

Far far, there's this little girl
she was praying for something good to happen to her
from time to time there are colors and shapes
dazzling her eyes, tickling her hands
they invent her a new world with
oil skies and aquarelle rivers
but don't you run away already
please don't go

How can you stay outside?
there's a beautiful mess inside
how can you stay outside?
there's a beautiful mess inside
Take a deep breath and dive
there's a beautiful mess inside
how can you stay outside?
There's a beautiful mess
beautiful mess inside

Oh beautiful, beautiful

Far far there's this little girl
she was praying for something big to happen to her
every night she hears beautiful strange music
it's everywhere there's nowhere to hide
but if it fades she begs
"oh lord don't take it from me, don't take it"

She says, "I guess I'll have to give it birth
to give it birth
I guess, I guess I have to give it birth
I guess I have to, have to give it birth
there's a beautiful mess inside and it's everywhere

Just look at yourself now
deep inside
deeper than you ever dared
deeper than you ever dared
there's a beautiful mess inside
beautiful mess inside

-Yael Naim

This week.

Sierra's feet are now the same size as mine. And i am entering the work force.

WEIRD.

sigh.

i miss alison.

They will know we are Christians....

I'm real done with the general public display of nastiness spewed by the people who are supposed to be characterized and KNOWN by their love for others.

I'm not saying to agree with things you believe are wrong. I'm not saying to roll over and play dead when you don't like what is happening in your community, or your world. I'm not saying to shut up when you have something to say (though maybe my mom was the only one who taught if you couldn't say something nice don't say it at all...)
The Jesus i'm trying to follow surely would not have been in support of or done any of those things.

I AM saying WHAT THE HELL ARE WE THINKING?!

I am grieved and disgusted, as unfortunately seems to be the pattern especially after an election, by the outpouring of malice, cynicism, and hatred towards our fellow man, who just so happens to disagree with "our" particular point of view.

"WE", who are called to be beacons of hope, love, and light to this broken dying world, spend our time recruiting people to join "i hate Obama" groups instead of to charities bringing healing and life to precious Haitians recovering from unthinkable disaster.
(think i remember something about respecting and honoring the rulers God himself has allowed to be in authority...)

"WE", who are supposed to lead the way for peace and reconciliation, burn bridges by maliciously attacking and spitefully name calling those who believe differently, choose differently, VOTE differently than us. I can't count how many times i've read something to the affect of "those idiots..." in the past week or so.
("If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men..." right?)

"WE", who are supposed to BE Christ's hands and feet to a world who needs him more today seemingly than every before, all but completely distort the salvation and grace that was first extended to us. This grace that is "unmerited favor" extended to us.

"We believe that we are all saved the same way, by the undeserved grace of the Lord Jesus.”
Acts 15:10-12

Wikepedia writes:

The principle of grace is considered as fundamental to Christianity as justice is to Law. The terms “salvation” and “grace” therefore become virtually synonymous.

Living as people of grace is "fundamental" to our belief system. FUNDAMENTAL.

The message puts it so beautifully.

All that passing laws against sin did was produce more lawbreakers. But sin didn't, and doesn't, have a chance in competition with the aggressive forgiveness we call grace. When it's sin versus grace, grace wins hands down. All sin can do is threaten us with death, and that's the end of it. Grace, because God is putting everything together again through the Messiah, invites us into life—a life that goes on and on and on, world without end.
Romans 5:19-21

That sounds immeasurably more attractive to me than the typical American Christian way of life and what i am inundated with on Facebook.

A few moments ago, Ella and her friend bounded down the stairs to "tell me something". They wanted me to know that they had a disagreement while playing a game together, but not to worry cause they worked it out and said they were sorry and everything was fine. Because "being friends is better than being right".

Uh. These are preschoolers. Where do we go wrong after 5?

I just am weary of all of it. And find myself continually distancing myself from this demographic that is supposed to be my brothers and sisters.

So church. What now? Will we continue to let our anger- while perhaps at times righteous- give birth to ugliness and sin? Or will we let the matchless grace that has been showered upon us bring forth incomprehensible love to our neighbor?

Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.
Colossians 4:5-7

I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.
Romans 12:2-4

Does anyone even blog anymore?

Just wondering.

I wish i had time to say things of importance that i'd like to say. But i don't.

So.